That pain in my neck (and butt)!
- Leila Knight
- May 10, 2015
- 4 min read
It never ceases to amaze me at how healing and useful meditation can be. It brings one the opportunity to weed through their thoughts, shuffle through them all, re-arrange them, make sense of, acknowledge, don't make sense of and let go.
We love to hold onto “things” - identities, relationships, careers, possessions, memories and events. The ego feeds on fear – of not being “enough”. The more that we think about distressful things, the more things there are to think about. Things that we handled “incorrectly”, or could have handled better. If only. How many hours have been lost thinking that thought? “If only...”. I know that I've spent several (hundred's?) miserable collective hours on that thought.
However, I am a firm believer that there aren't really any “things” called mistakes, and that everything has happened in the best way that the Universe can bring to us, according to our belief systems. These “things” called mistakes, or tragedies are not. They are lessons – valuable life lessons presented to us. If we learn from them, we can move on and grow. If not, we are presented with a recurring cycle of events featuring the same lessons, until we learn from that lesson.
Facing your inner emotions can be a really tough thing to do. We present so many different faces or roles to the world, that it can be quite challenging to figure out who the real “you” (or "me") is! Whilst taking in a quiet moment in the fresh sunlight outside, I took a moment to reflect on how much meditation has helped me over the years. So much has happened in the past 3 years, and I realised that I lean on yoga and meditation so much. To bring me back to myself, even if I have no idea who or what or when or where this real me is.
I felt the connection with the earth, the Universe, with Consciousness, as I relaxed within myself. And I said to myself “There! That is the real me. That beautiful, vibrant pulsing energy, blissful and soothing to experience. That is where I always am. Inside, always available.”
Yet how often do I really take the time to establish that connection between Self and Universe? It is always there when I need it, and perhaps, for now, that is enough. I often forget about this state, when relentessly obsessed with "Life and all that happens".
I have dreams of reaching Siddhi states in meditation, if only to experience it briefly. Astral projection would be …. I have no idea what it would be like, but I want to try it too! There is so much that we can experience within, yet we take such lengths to travel externally. All over the world, shooting through the sky in a steel tube, floating over the ocean in boats and zooming over the surface of the earth in anything we can find.
No doubt these are also wonderful experiences... yet to go within is so enriching. We open up to ourselves. We search the world over for what lies within. Ease your aches and pains. Whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, meditation will soothe it. Facing up to your unwanted emotions, those that physically get “held onto” in the hips... that will release you (me, we) of old, stagnant energy.
You want to grow, and rise up? You need to learn to let go of those things weighing you down. How can one expect to fill their cup, when it is already filled with old tea? Tip out that old tea, and be open to what may come. Be ready to receive. Face those facts, those things that happened, and then let go of those memories and emotions that no longer serve you. They are heavy to carry. That's what that pain in your neck (or butt) is.
Just shout out “Screw it!” or any fitting variation thereof, say it with passion! Let go of that heavy, dark energy. Blow it out. Tell yourself that you deserve love. That, because you love yourself, you are willing to let that stuff go. Sometimes it comes out in the form of tears. Don't try to control that release of tension, let those tears roll. Even if it is in the presence of several people.
This was my most recent experience with meditation. I had been thinking that I really just needed to stretch that pain and tension out, but apparently facing and accepting my emotions worked way better. Immediately thereafter, my pain in my neck and butt had greatly reduced in intensity. The pain had not completely disappeared - I suspect that I have more things to work through before that happens. However, I felt more at ease with myself. I felt less reluctant about dealing with my fear, in accepting my reality. That terrifying fear.
It won't be so bad. I'm probably just making it out to be bigger than it really is. Expecting the worst - that's what fear is. It will all work out just fine. These things always do. I guess it's just the long-awaited crux of this period of my life, drawing imminently nearer. Perhaps once I completely accept it, the pain in my ass will disappear too. That's a comforting thought to look forward to.
If I wish to grow beyond the person that I dream to be, I must be willing to let go of this old. To completely open myself up to the new. To accept all that comes to me. To try and do so in a graceful, aware state. To be diligent and to serve myself, so that I may better serve others. If there is nothing in your cup, how can you hope to share what you have? Although I can't please everyone, I will try my best to balance it all out. I will try to enjoy each and every precious moment that I experience (I know, easier said than done, right?).
There is so much to do. I hope that I have enough time. It's quite a precious commodity. Do people give Time its due worth? I think not, otherwise there would be a lot more people meditating in one form or other, in my opinion. There, I speak for myself, too. I know the power of meditation as a tool, and yet, I use it far less than I “should”. Such is life, and the struggle to find that dynamic balance.
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