A look at suffering - Part 3

A simple way to break the cycle of being emotionally drawn into the moment, before we get stuck, is to focus on the breath and on the physical sensations of the body. What is the breath like? Is the chest/shoulders tight? What hurts, and where?

We can then consciously begin working through the various parts of the body, in conjunction with the breath. By taking slow, deep breaths, we bring more oxygen into the system and begin to relax the body. By focusing on the breath and the physical sensations of the body, we avert the attention of the mind and create a gap in the chaos. By consciously relaxing one part of the body after the other, we let go of the tension that we are holding onto. Slowly, gently, we create peace in the mind and the body.

Now we can ask ourselves what is really upsetting us, without the heavy emotional bias. We can make clearer, more logical decisions, rather than emotionally fuelled (and sometimes reckless) decisions.

We can then think about the events leading up to the moment of suffering - to identify the triggers that lead to such incidents. Some events are unavoidable, and nothing can be done to prevent them from happening (for example, death, aging, natural disasters). Other things may however be in our control and we can work now to prevent them from happening again in the future.For those events that we cannot avoid, we can only learn to accept them.

Clearly, alcohol is going out the window for a while for me. Perhaps sugar should be avoided as well as it tends to throw my hormones and emotions into imbalance. Really, I'm doing this for those around me, if not more than for myself. :P

Tools that help to keep us steady and return to balance are also important to incorporate into our daily lives. They help us to work more deeply with the problematic areas of our lives, and eventually, to resolve our conflicts.

I believe that talking about our feelings and emotions is essential for all human beings. Being completely honest with ourselves, accepting responsibility for our actions and not blaming others for the situations we find ourselves in is vital for us to effectively communicate with those around us. This can be a very difficult thing to do, but it is definitely worthwhile. The world is a mirror and if we are brave enough to look, we can learn a lot.

There are many other tools that we can use on our own to continue working to the root causes, but communication is a vital part of healing and moving forward.

Some of these tools include working with energy (eg. Reiki, the chakras), meditating, practising yoga and working through the kleshas, amongst others. These tools will be different for everybody, and we each need to find what works for us as an individual. The important thing is to persevere and to commit to our chosen practice. This is one of the hardest parts – having the dedication to consistently show up to my mat, regardless of how much I don't feel like it.

From suffering, comes growth. The things in life that are worthwhile, are never easy. As we walk along our paths, we are faced with different challenges at different times. Each one allows us a fresh perspective, an opportunity to get to know ourselves better. And so we gain knowledge and wisdom. Attempting to navigate through this maze called life is by no means simple, nor easy. No one path is better than the other, and we all have our own challenges to deal with. Slowly, moment by moment, day by day, I attempt to be mindful. My thoughts, emotions, words, actions and reactions... These are the only things that I am able to control.

As the midnight blue fades to lighter shades of blue and the horizon begins to change to dusty hues of purple and pink, dawn approaches. A cock crows in a nearby villa. A new day begins; a fresh opportunity to try again.

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